Therapy: Step Seven of Seven

Therapy: Step 7 — Reopening to Love (But Only When It’s Right)

This last step wasn’t about swiping right or texting somebody new.
It wasn’t about pretending I’m fine or rushing back into something just to feel wanted again.

Step 7 was about checking in with myself — really asking, “Am I open to love, or am I just trying to fix the past?”
And the answer surprised me.

Because for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t looking for anyone to fill a gap. I just wanted to feel whole again — on my own. And I do.

To complete this step, I had to do three things:

1. Write it Out

Make a declaration that I’m not chasing anymore. That I’m whole. That I’ll only open up again if it’s real, safe, and earned. And that I’ll never confuse being “chosen” with being worthy again.

2. Get Clear on My Standards

Not just the red flags — I already know what I’m not doing again.
This was about knowing what I am looking for: consistency, effort, communication, emotional maturity. A woman who knows who she is and respects who I am.

3. Speak the Truth

Say it out loud. Into the mirror. Into my journal. Into the world:

“The next person I open up to will meet me where I stand.
I don’t need to chase love anymore.
Because I already love me.”

I’ve done all three.
And I mean this when I say it — I’m not rushing anything.
Because I’ve already arrived at something deeper than love: self-respect.

I’m Not in a Rush. I’m in My Power.

I’m done chasing.
Not just people — but closure, clarity, old versions of me.

I spent the last seven steps getting back to who I really am. And the version of me standing here now?
He doesn’t need to prove anything.
He doesn’t settle for half-effort.
He doesn’t entertain confusion.

I used to think healing was about moving on. But now I know — healing is about coming home to yourself.

I don’t need to be chosen.
I’ve already chosen me.

Now, if someone wants to show up? They’ll have to meet me where I’m at — not pull me back into old patterns, not drain me with uncertainty, not make me chase.

Here’s where I stand now:

• I know what I bring to the table.
• I know how to protect it.
• And I know I’ll never beg for a seat at someone else’s again.

To any man reading this:
This is what being solid looks like. Not loud. Not thirsty. Not pressed.
You don’t need to “win her back.” You need to win yourself back.
And once you do, you’ll realize the real glow-up isn’t external — it’s in how you carry yourself when no one’s watching.

To the women reading this:
I’m not here to prove I’m different. I just am.
And when we cross paths — if we ever do — you’ll feel it.
Because I move with clarity now. I lead with peace. I don’t rush. I don’t beg.
I just am.

The version of me that came out of this process is grounded, present, and whole.
And any relationship I build from here will reflect that.
It’ll be healthy. Intentional. Real.

I’m not in a rush to be loved.
I am love — and that energy always gets noticed.