How do I feel right now?
My day was going pretty well.
I was enjoying the night. I got to see the person I’m talking to, even though it was only while they were working.
Then, once again, plans were cancelled.
That’s why right now my mood is irritated.
How did I approach today?
I approached today annoyed, tired, but somewhat optimistic.
Why?
Because I got to see some people I enjoy spending time with.
One thing I did while hanging out with them was install a kitchen screen that needed to be replaced.
Overall, my day was straight.
Then it just ended like crap.
What is one thing I completed today?
One thing I did today was replace and install a kitchen screen that needed attention.
Even though my personal mood changed later in the night, I still handled what needed to be handled.
Additional Reflection
What bothers me is effort.
You can show up to support someone you claim not to like, but our time can be cancelled or replaced so easily.
I’m tired of feeling led on.
I’m tired of just texting and talking on the phone without actually getting meaningful time together or going on a real date.
Is this person really over their ex?
Who knows.
Part of me feels lied to, led on, played, and honestly like a fool.
There are other options out there—people who follow through, have fewer complications, are in a better financial position, and have truly moved on from the bad actors in their lives.
The surprising thing is that tonight I’m just irritated.
I’m not devastated.
I’m not sad.
I’m just irritated.
You can say you want a future together, but at some point you also have to show up in the present.
Otherwise, it starts to feel like a waste of time.